Asking her out

I guess we all know the situation. We get so see an attractive girl and we’d love to ask her out. But since we are afraid to talk to her, let alone ask her out, we simply pretend that we’ve never seen her. We go our way and at the end of the day we spend several hours with kicking ourselves into the nuts because we screwed up another chance of having a date with a stunning girl. Now why were we afraid to simply ask her whether she’d like to go out on a date with us?

She already has a boyfriend (I guess)

Believe me, I’ve told this to myself more times than I can count. The truth is: Yeah, she might have a boyfriend. Chances are she’s living in a great relationship right now and chances are that you might get rejected. But you know what? Who cares? If you don’t ask her out, you’ll never find out. Fact is, that many attractive girls out there are single and that most of them are actually having trouble finding a boyfriend because every guy is way too afraid to ask her out. So the reason why nobody is asking her out is because she looks too good. 

Now some of you might get me wrong at this point: I’m not endorsing you to only look out for great looking girls. The character also plays are mayor role in the equation of a good relationship. But if you don’t feel sexually attracted to a person (in any way), chances are the relationship is most likely going to fail in the long run. So whenever somebody is saying, that the first thing that they care about when dating a person is their character, they’re simply not telling the truth in my opinion. Again: The character counts a lot, but if a girl saw Quasimodo in a club, chances are she’s most likely not going to be attracted to him in the first place. But that does not mean that the poor guy is going to remain single for the rest of his life and forced to lurk “bachelor frog” threads till the end of time. Looks do count, but they’re not everything. 

The first thing that you want to do is get your stuff together. If your flat or room looks like a piece of crap, start cleaning the place up. Wash all those disgusting dishes that haven’t seen a drop of water for several years or (if that’s really necessary) throw them away and get yourself new ones. I know, this sounds like I was missing the point but in order to be attractive to most girls (some girls may like guys who sport the “savage” look), you need to look like a person who actually cares about themselves and getting the place that you stay at into a good shape is probably the best start. But since most of the girls are not going to see your place within the first few days of knowing you (again: there might be some exceptions for this rule but I’ll try to stick to the most likely cases) you also want to look neat on the surface. I’m not going to tell you what to wear and how to get your hair cut, everybody has his own style in which he feels comfortable and this is something that I’ll never want to take away from you, but if you ask a girl whether she’d like to catch a coffee with you while you are wearing a shirt which says “I rape fetus’”, chances are she might try to avoid the date. 

Daring the leap of faith

Another thing that I’d like to point out is fitness. Most guys (luckily I’m one of those) are blessed with a body that allows them to not work out and eat whatever they want without becoming fat. So if you’re overweight, try to lose some pounds. I know, this sounds very harsh and I don’t mean to tell you that you should feel bad about your body. But the thing is that girls simply feel more attracted to guys that look healthy and not being overweight is one of those indicators of a healthy person, just like good teeth, skin, hair and basic body hygiene. I guess I don’t have to elaborate more on the whole point of getting in shape but if you’ve still got a question, simply post it in the comment section or as I already said, write me a mail.

The next thing that you want to work on is not your body but simply your way of approaching girls. This is probably the point that most guys are having trouble with, since it takes a lot of guts to ask a girl out. I’ve done this several times and I’m still nervous when it comes to the point of telling your name and just asking the seven magic words: “May I invite you to a coffee?” (Not: “I would like to smell your hair”). Almost every girl out there that is not in a relationship at the moment will answer this question with “Yeah, why not”. Why, you ask? Because girls like guys who are confident about themselves. They do know how hard it is to ask this question to a stranger, so the first impression that she’s getting is not: The guy with the awkward Tetris-Shirt. What she is seeing is a guy who actually had the balls to ask her out on a date. And believe me: Confidence is something, that most women are attracted to.